Back in love...

Well, here I am again, back into the life of love. Still on the same path when I used to love someone. The path of a rocky road which crushes me over and over again. Not even a tiny hole that can be found to escape through in order for me to be in a mellow love. I guess I'm never meant to be in love. Always on my own. She was my friend, and I knew before, that it would turn out this way. I guess man really takes all the falls. Superman was known as the man of steel, but deep in his heart, he wasn't the man of steel that people knew. Just like me. I maybe strong on the outside but weak on the inside. Full of anxiety nowadays, I guess we wouldn't be more closer than before. I need a raincoat.

Whose my Friends?

After the recollection, a group of jocular students entertained me in their group. I had fun and excitement hanging out with them, for they were the kind of friends I want to have. They cruised me around the mall and went for a fun trip. I had so much fun and excitement that day. But guess what, the next day, it seems to them that they don't know me anymore. They didn't even bother saying good morning to me or what's up. Now, questions starts to annoy me. Was I the kind of friend they wanted or not?Is it because I'm different? But that day felt like an entire happiness that I finally found my friends, which led me on to nothing. Well, I guess it's just time and adjustment. There's nothing I can do except to show the real me and my extraordinary talents which people would want to see. Then, I guess I'll find my friends.

Where Is Everybody?

I feel so alone nowadays. I feel that I'm on my own and the people who care for me before are gone in my heart. As I walk in every step of my life, I can't feel the people that I felt before. The care and love that I felt before seems to be gone. Now, I'm down to one last breath, lost, petrified, and abandoned. My life is starting to lose the path of joy. What happened to me, my life, the people I've loved and care in the past. All this question are filling up my mind. The path seems to be going through a rocky road. It's really hard, I'm losing the grip of success, all I'm bearing right now is my past. I feel like being placed six feet from the edge, and maybe that six feet is so far down. Nobody seemed to hold me back, guess I'll do it on my own then, and live on my own. This life I'm going through right now is very difficult and is hard to cope with this kind of situation. My road is foggy that I lost my way through the path of joy. I guess nobody is really perfect, no mater how much a person tries to strive to become one. Well, i guess it ends here.

Hey Guam Boy!

"Hey Guam Boy!" is what they call me sometimes when they see me walking through the lobby and classrooms and wherever in the campus, especially when they don't know my name. Now, they had a habit of calling me that nettling name. It's irritating and slightly adequate to heed. I guess my nickname have really passed on, knowing that I'm the only person who came from Guam and can't barely vocalize the local language which is the "visaya" language, and slight on Tagalog. It's just because I can hardly speak English fluently and accurately, they tend to call me Guam Boy. Now, I'm having difficulties talking to some students. When they ask me in visaya language, I respond back in Tagalog language which some other students can't understand or hard to talk in Tagalog, but mostly, I respond in English when I tend not to. When we had group work and I am asked for something or a question, I respond mostly in English when it is supposedly to be in Tagalog. My tongue is more on to English nowadays whenever I'm in school. I tried to get a hold of it, but apparently, it's only working sometimes. Well, I guess I'll have to live this way, and hope the would still accept for who I am.

Which One?

I just came from the school today. This morning, we had our PE. Well, she was there, as a matter of fact, she is always there. We had an activity today in our PE class, which is to observe each and everyone of how long they can jump by combining two tape measures. She was beside the tape measure, to record our jumps. We had three attempts. When it came to my turn, I felt so numb, my feet could barely jump far-off, but with her beside the tape measure; recording our jumps, made me feel more anesthetized. My first attempt was not really bad. My second attempt was totally poor, I didn't even reach the second tape measure when I know I could. On my third attempt, she looked at me. Not as in for a long period of a time, but just a glance through my eyes. I prepared an intense strength for a good jump. When I made the attempt, i landed beside her. And I reached a far distance of a jump. It was intense. After the activity, we were commanded to sit down. And again, her hand swinged through my hand and made a slight hit in our fingers for the second time. She didn't even react, neither did I. Now, I'm starting to have an immense feelings for her. After PE was English. The subject which is more likely parting from me. Apparently, I'm getting a hold of it again little by little. One thing is that, there's this girl. She keeps staring at me. Not everytime. Actually, she is the type of the girl that I adore. With the crazy attiude and a funny personality. Obviously, she is the most beautiful girl in English class and also the smartest. She is what every guy desire to have. I also have feelings for her but it's hard to get close to those kinds of persons. But what I'm wondering about is why does she keep glancing through my face. Now, she makes me think and wanting myself to wait and hope if there would be a collision between the two of us. So the question is, which one?

Going Home

No matter what, the darkness always follow me. And all the tears I shed, where shed beyond closed doors. So , I chose the only place that I might be safe. But I wish I could have brought you with me. Because the pain you brought me was never a pain of heartache, but a pain love. I'm sorry that I won't be there for you when you needed me. Just look inside your heart and I'll be there. I just couldn't take the pain. The evil I had brought down on you. The only thing I could do was to go and pray that one day you would all understand and accept that I have moved on to a better place. Or so I hoped far out of her reach. I never knew how hard it would be to do this on my own. But protecting you, made the leaving bearable and I will always have the dreams of how we could have been. If I had only given you the chance and all I can do now is wish that I could say that I'm sorry. But when I look at myself, the image was distorted. If i could only have seen myself through your eyes, then maybe this place wouldn't have seem so bad, and I could have broken these chains that bound me. But I just couldn't escape the demons from my past. Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it all. And like me, you'll have to live with the regret, running away in shame, instead of being brave enough to take hope by the hand. Because people did care, even when they seemed not to. They loved you. You only needed to ask and neither heaven or hell, could have overcome, and I would no longer be walking a barren road alone, because I'd be home. When you're sad and when you're lonely, and you haven't got a friend, and all that you've held sacred falls down and does not mend, when you're standing at the crossroads that you cannot comprehend, and all your dreams have vanished and you don't know what's up the bend, when the storm clouds gather around you and a heavy rain descends, you must only remember, death is not the end. I'd like to dedicate this to a girl who I have fallen in love with during 6th grade. I saw her today in the campus with someone, which I refer to as a special person for her. I don't know if she still recalls about our past. I'm asking myself what would it be like if I hadn't left the place, not knowing where I'll be bound to take the strenous trials all by myself. I went to a better place far from her, which I call home, for that place took all the immeasurable depression I had. If I could only wish that I could bring her with me. Now, the bottomless feelings are starting to ascend whenever I encounter her in the campus. I guess it's time for me to go back home, again.

Sleeping Late

Its 11:47 pm and I haven't slept yet. It's very calm and dull here in my room. But it's more silent outside. The neighborhood are asleep, even my grandparents next door. It's so quiet. This is the lind of place I want to be in. But not in this particular view, which all you see is just your room. It would be much more better to be in a serene and placid area. A place where you can refreshen your mind and takes away all depression and distressing feelings that haunts you again and again. But it's awesome, because it's very exciting and glamarous hearing the silent night. And the next day is the nuisance day. Back to school! But it's ok, a least it's Friday. Yepee!Gud nyt!