No Friends At All

I feel deep sorrow and loneliness since the day I entered College. It's because I don't have any friends to walk with, talk with, share things with, and all things that friends do. It made me recall of my high school year, when I had numerous friends, approximately ninety percent of the student in high school are my friends. I miss them a lot. Today, I can't barely keep depression inside myself anymore, that is why I'm pouring every single bitter feeling I had ever since I stepped into College life. It's hard for me to go through College alone, and as a matter of fact it's true. No person can go through College alone. He/she needs a companion beside him/her for friends are there to support each other. I guess I'm destined to be alone. I've tried so many times of stopping the negativity of not having friends at all, but it kept haunting me every time I walk inside the College building, alone. For now, I'm only assuming that someday I'll have a friend. But what I know is that I have a true friend beside me everyday, he's just invisible. But still, I'm losing hope searching for true friends. Maybe it's because I'm different from others since I grew up in a different place. Or maybe because of my color. I have so many questions occurring in my head, twisting my brain to death. I really miss my friends back in Chuuk. Especially my band mates and schoolmates. How I wish I could go back in the past just to refresh my mind in order for my head to cool down a little. Looking at the memorable memories, the funniest memories, the sweetest memories, the coolest memories and the awesomest memories. Sometimes, I feel a massive depression in me. Because of this depression, I'm always tempted to cry. I can't help it anymore. I want to better myself but I can't. I can't cope with this life without having any friends. People back in Chuuk gave me good advices about friends. They said to choose friends carefully, but there's nothing to choose. I'm only assuming myself for now that this is just a dream and when I wake up from the terrifying dream, friends that I've been waiting for are beside me, especially the friends I had back in Chuuk. It's hard to go through this situation, but i reckon someday that no matter if I had no friends in College at all, friends in my past are just smiling and waiting to be noticed at the back of me.