The Next Unkown Path

it's been 5 months after my last written short story about my life. This past 5 months was a total boredom. But many things have had happened during that 5 months break. Many events took place in my life, i was loved, i was hurt,i was rejected,i was alone, i got caught in a fight, i was jealous of something that i wasn't supposed to be envied about, i cried, i laughed, I've met new persons, special persons, and came back to the real me. During this 5 months, i see myself on a road that only brought me back from the start. But it wasn't just any road. It was a road of learning and searching who i really am, and what i have to avoid and take in order not to make the same mistake as i take the new path ahead of me. The past road was a preparation for me, "i guess". Everything i experienced and learned from that 5 months was a preparation for me.why? I don't know. But then again, why did it brought me back from the start? Everything has it's second chance, and that second chance plays a vital role, a chance that must be taken care of. I'll start off now with my story during this past 5 months.

well, first event that happened was on Sept 5. Well, it was the day that i had my first girlfriend. Actually, i never really wanted to have a girlfriend yet, but then, something clicked on my mind, telling myself that I'd just have a girlfriend to experience how it feels to have one. It was a wrong decision, because i never really love the girl, i played as her bf just to experience having one, it was totally wrong, but i couldn't turn back anymore. Well, nothing really happened between us. I learned that having girlfriends is really nice, someones taking care of you and all that, but one thing i never like about having girlfriend is that you can't be with your friends anymore, you can't spend time with friends to hang out. Well, i know that having a gf is a priority to be taken care of. With that, i couldn't handle it. So i took the liberty of breaking up. It was sad, coz i shoved many lies before her, and it was a wrong thing that i took position in. But, finally, it's over. I cursed myself, playing stupid games on people that i didn't want to let it happen.


Then came October, i was on my friendster account that day, i was adding up some friends even though i don't barely know them, till i get across with a girl who i seemed to call as my angel, she is the most adorable person that i have ever known. She is Karla Patricia Yvette Haduca Pagalunan, or "Trish" by the name i call her. I've got no intention of having her as my girlfriend. Well, i only wanted her as friend, i was so lonely that day and i needed a friend so badly. I wanted to call my friend, Marcos, but it was impossible for me. I tried emailing him, but not one message replied quickly as i wanted it to be, so i thought of looking for someone in my friendster account. Then came trish. i can describe Trish as friendly, adorable, kind, and cute. Well, Trish is actually not in the same place as me here in the Philippines. She's actually in Manila and I'm in Mindanao. Though distance had the advantage of separation, it never stopped me from becoming her friend. We became close just through comment chat in the friendster. Every afternoon after school, we would talk to each other. Trish actually has a boyfriend, but as time passes, they broke up. I had no intention of getting an advantage, but i was just there to comfort her as my friend. Well, as i see of me and Trish, it seems that I'd known her already, as if i was with her everyday. It's a feeling i couldn't explain. Well, Trish and I mostly have the same things in common, and she mentioned something about soul mate. That once two persons have the same things in common, they are soul mates. Both of us kept teasing each other that we really are each others soul mate. But then, as time goes, Trish and i seemed to be parting. Well, not all persons get along that always. During December, Trish and i were texting, and i mentioned something about having the same things in common with her. And she really made me believe in soul mates, but when she said it was just a joke, my heart wanted to burst and die right away. Something was wrong again,and i knew it, I was expecting too much about are relationship as friends, i was not acting as her friend anymore, more like her suitor. It seems like i just woke up from a dream, but it was reality. Well, my response to her? I said "yeah, it's just a joke...=) " that smiling face right there, is just a fake. It's what all people do when you don't want others to worry about you when you are in pain. I played along with her, putting fake smiles, and fake laughs. But then, after Christmas, i tried getting a contact with her again, i felt much better after Christmas Day. Well, while waiting, i was adding up some friends again, till i got across with a friend of her. When she knew about that, she quickly told me that i added her friend "elos" so that i have a new person to comment chat with. Then i quickly told her that i wouldn't, that she'd be the only one I'd comment chat with, of course she's the one i wanted. But when i told her that someday she'll soon forget me, and that we wouldn't be having a comment chat anymore, she said "of course not".........but guess what?., As January came i found out that she had someone to comment chat with and it wasn't me anymore. Well, i was quite jealous but i can't do anything, it's her decision. I lived up to her promise that she'd be the only one I'd comment chat with, but she didn't live up to hers. I realize it was time to quit this nonsense on girls, and concentrate back to the real me. Now, i don't know what will happen next, but all I'll do is to move on.



Now, I'm back here, writing, just like what i used to do before.
At least I'm back to the real me.
The Kirk who can barely live up to his self,
The Kirk who is confident and aggressive,
The Kirk who is joyful and filled with happiness,
The Kirk who used to have friends back In Chuuk,
And the Kirk who have the strong faith of never giving up in hard obstacles.
Coz without the people i grew up with in Chuuk, i wouldn't become who I am now,
and the characteristics we all built in me.,

Thanks to God and my Parents, The Holy Family Church Choir, My Pangea Band,
especially to Marcos, Lorraine, Chinky, and Tito Dennis.


Now, I'm ready to take the real step of the Next Unknown Path ahead of me.......